


A Divine Comedy

by BadBlond099



Series: Familiarity Breeds... [9]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Constantine: The Hellblazer (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Cuz we're all stir crazy, Even adults like storytime, Insomnia, M/M, Quarantine, Shower Sex, Smut, Trapped on a couch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24205267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBlond099/pseuds/BadBlond099
Summary: “So, how’re we doin’ this, mate? I’m more than happy to make some space for you,” John offered with a wink.Jason rolled his eyes and stripped. “We should just do it together. Save time and water.”John stepped in first. “Right. Gotta consider the Earth first. ‘Cuz you’re a proper hero and all.”
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd/John Constantine, Jason Todd/John Constantine
Series: Familiarity Breeds... [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731799
Comments: 2
Kudos: 89





	A Divine Comedy

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!
> 
> NGL, I tried to write something for this series yesterday but it was just one of those days where everything that I wrote was just NOT what I wanted it to be. Sooo I've accepted that I've broken my daily goal now. I'll just try to keep posting often.
> 
> Constantine returns in this one! He's been brought right back to my mind with the recent Justice League Dark: Apocalypse War movie that dropped. There we learn that not only is Constantine bi, he's also uhh, pan I guess, seeing as he apparently slept with King Shark -_- For anyone less familiar with my writing, I have a tendency of coupling JayDickJohn when I can. Basically a very open-ended thing. They all enjoy it when they can. Also, John coming around during quarantine is less of a problem because (for the sake of my writing) neither he nor Jason can get sick with regular human illnesses (don't ask too many questions and I won't give too many answers).
> 
> As always, don't take this too seriously, it's all in good fun! This is just another in a series of quarantine-themed short fics I'm writing as a challenge to myself and to brighten up fellow JayDick fans days a little during this weird time. Reading the other stories in the series isn't required to enjoy this one as they're all a little light on plot. All you need to know is Dick and Jason are living together during quarantine.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jason and John rolled through the apartment window and dropped flat onto the floor to catch their breath. They were covered in demonic blood and barely felt the strength to get back to their feet to shower it off.

“Bugger me, Jay-Jay. Why can’t we stay at one of your damned hideouts what’s actually on the ground?” John complained. “You sure your pretty roommate won’t mind me crashing for a night?”

“Shh. Usually he’s in my ear the whole time I go out for missions, but he uhh…Well I made sure we had a late night last night,” Jason explained in a breathy whisper. “He’ll kill me if he finds out I went out without telling him.”

“Ah, well. I’m used to being someone’s dirty little secret.”

Jason got up first and helped John to his feet, leading him back to the bathroom. “Wait here. I’ll get clean clothes,” he offered.

In the bedroom Dick was still snoring softly, just like Jason had left him. It never ceased to amaze Jason just how Dick had taken up a normal sleep schedule while in quarantine. Years of training their bodies to be all-but nocturnal for their line of work and Dick was out like a light most nights by ten. Meanwhile Jason’s insomnia only seemed to get worse.

He grabbed an old shirt and loose-fitting boxers for himself and a plain white shirt and red flannel pajama pants for John without getting Dick to even stir. When he crept back into the bathroom, he was hardly surprised to find that John had already stripped out of his bloody clothes.

“So, how’re we doin’ this, mate? I’m more than happy to make some space for you,” John offered with a wink.

Jason rolled his eyes and stripped. “We should just do it together. Save time and water.”

John stepped in first. “Right. Gotta consider the Earth first. ‘Cuz you’re a proper hero and all.”

Jason stepped in and cupped John’s member threateningly as he pressed the older man’s back to the tile. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew, old man.”

“Oy! H-hang on—”

Jason pressed his free hand over John’s mouth and whispered, “This’ll only get worse for you if you wake him up.”

*

“Feel like I need a fuckin’ smoke after what you done to me,” John whined as he settled onto the couch while Jason fetched a couple glasses and a bottle of bourbon.

“No smoking in the apartment.”

“Your rules are a bit skewed, mate. Wasn’t a minute ago you had me gasping for breath, but our little vice that fucks with our lungs is off limits?”

“Dick doesn’t like it. Honestly, he doesn’t like when you and I do things without him either, so do me a favor and keep your voice down.”

John accepted the glass of bourbon neat that was handed to him and took a sip. “You fulfill all the vices what’re important to me. That’s enough.”

“Look, I’ve probably still got a few hours left in me, so I was just going to read. I can move to the garage if that’d make it difficult for you to sleep or—”

“Honestly, Jay-Jay, I’m not one for a full night’s sleep myself.”

“Well we’re not fucking around anymore behind Dick’s back, so put that out of your mind.”

“Aye. Understood. What’re you reading?”

“Had Timbers send a few things from the mansion’s library. Started Dante’s Inferno earlier today.”

“Perfect!” John threw back the rest of his drink like a shot, shuddered, and set the glass back on the coffee table before patting the couch next to him. “The Divine Comedy is practically my memoirs at this point. And I can think of nothin’ more soothin’ than that sultry voice of yours putting the fear of Hell back into me.”

Jason scoffed. “And here some people count sheep.” He retrieved his book and took his glass over, setting it on the end table before sitting on the couch. John wasted no time getting comfortable, dropping his head into Jason’s lap. “Okay then. Uhh, I’ll just go back to the beginning then.

“When halfway through the journey of our life I found that I was in a gloomy wood, because the path which led aright was lost. And ah, how hard it is to say just what this wild and rough and stubborn woodland was, the very thought of which renews my fear!”

Jason went on reading quietly for a while—occasionally stopping to ask the odd question about Hell to see just how accurate the story was—until John began to snore in his lap.

“Good night, old man.” He shifted slightly and John muttered some sleepy nonsense and proceeded to latch onto Jason’s leg.

“Uhh, hey…I can at least get the lights or something.”

No response. John was out like a light and Jason was pinned.

“Crap.” He grabbed his glass of bourbon and sipped at it while continuing to read his book, figuring that he’d pass out eventually or something.

“Hm? Jay? What? Why aren’t you in bed?”

Jason bristled like a cat, completely caught off guard by Dick.

“Mm! Y-yeah! Uhh, J-John needed a place to stay and I…we couldn’t sleep so I was reading and he—”

Dick’s groggy face soured. “I don’t like when you do things with him without me.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why we were just reading,” Jason conveniently kept quiet about their fun in the shower. “But he—”

“Jerk.” Dick proceeded to stumble around to the couch and squeeze himself on Jason’s other side, leaning wholly against him before falling promptly back to sleep, as if the whole thing had just been him sleepwalking.

“Guys?”

Nothing but snoring in response.

“Guys, the bed is much bigger and much more comfortable! Come on!” He tried to remove himself, but Dick had latched on like a vice and John felt twenty pounds heavier as dead-weight. “Guuuuys!”

He couldn’t even read anymore with the way that Dick had settled against him. The men were sleeping so soundly that it was soothing to an extent, but Jason couldn’t shake the feel of claustrophobia between them.

“I swear, I’m going to have to pee sooner or later and you’re both going to regret this."


End file.
